Girl's Day Out
by Artemis Rae
Summary: Or, seven times Ty Lee manages to insult Mai's senses. An attempt to run a simple errand is made. Hijinks ensue.


**Seven Ways Ty Lee Insulted Mai's Senses.** (In One Afternoon, No Less.)

**Rating**: K+

**Summary**: Mai and Ty Lee attempt to run an errand for Azula. Hijinks ensue. Maiko implied.

**A/N:** This was written for the wonderful May Flyer, the author of some of the best Avatar fiction out there and one who was kind enough to rec my fic over at avatarrecfest. This is my thanks to her.

**Disclaimer**: As usual Avatar does not even remotely belong to me. That makes me sad.

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Her sense of discretion: **

"Your aura has gotten so much prettier in the last couple weeks, Mai!" Ty Lee exclaimed, reaching out a hand as if to pick at something floating around Mai's head. "It used to be this dull, rusty color, but now it's deepened and it's the prettiest shade of scarlet red!"

Mai slid a sidelong glance at her companion. Zuko had joined their little group a couple weeks ago – and though she and Zuko had exchanged a total of twelve words (_not_ that Mai was counting), Ty Lee had begun to make the most unsubtle comments imaginable. It was at the point where Mai was beginning to actively avoid Zuko for fear that it would simply give the acrobat more ammunition.

It had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that when she sat around him for too long her stomach got all jangly and her palms got all sweaty and last week she had accidentally taken a chunk out of a table in their dining chamber because one of her knives had slipped when he had asked her to pass the fish (words seven, eight, and nine).

"We should find something special for you today, Mai!" Ty Lee gushed enthusiastically.

"Coffee beans," Mai replied, hoping to remind her why they had left the palace in the first place.

**

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Her sense of smell: **

"Ooooh, let's go in here!" Ty Lee exclaimed, clamping two hands onto Mai's arm and pulling her effortlessly towards a doorway. Mai frowned at the offending hand and wondered how Ty Lee managed to so skillfully weave her way through the crowd. People tended to glance at Mai and go out of their way to avoid her, but Ty Lee seemed to disturb no one as she filled the empty spaces between people.

An awful stench hit Mai right in the face; this store was not the coffee shop she had been hoping for – after all, the entire reason Azula had sent the pair down to the market in the first place was because she had developed an addiction to the caffeine buzz, and trusted no one else to handle anything she ingested.

She wrinkled her nose, trying to shake out the tickle that had developed, and then sneezed. Ty Lee shoved a glass vial under her nose; the sweet smell overwhelmed her and she sneezed again.

"This one has lily and jasmine-" her fingers were at Mai's neck, "but this one has sandalwood, which is way more popular back at the Fire Nation Court…" her fingers dabbed something on the other side of Mai's neck. "What do you think?"

"Is that per_fume_?" Mai hissed. At Ty Lee's nod, Mai frantically started batting the bottles out of her hands. "I think I'm _allergic_ to perfume!" Her neck was already starting to itch, and Mai had to clench her fists to stop herself from scratching furiously with one hand and strangling Ty Lee with the other.

She lunged for the doorway, where fresh air was waiting for her. When Ty Lee poked her head out to check on her, Mai narrowed her eyes. "And by the way, only _whores_ wear sandalwood. It's _amber_ that's popular at the Fire Nation court." She should know; she'd only had to hold her breath every damn time she'd bowed before Lord Ozai to prevent herself from sneezing all over him.

**

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Her sense of vision: **

"This shop doesn't sell coffee beans either," Mai pointed out. Ty Lee conveniently went deaf, pawing fervently through the bolts of cloth laid out on the table.

"We should find something that will brighten you up…" Ty Lee mused. Mai thought about pointing out that she had already accomplished that goal; her neck was a rather spectacular shade of pink.

Ty Lee held a piece of cloth up to her midsection. "Ooooh, this compliments your aura so _nicely_!"

"It's _white,_" Mai pointed out. She hadn't worn the color white since she was in diapers.

"_Cream_," Ty Lee insisted, tugging it up higher and measuring it against her shoulders.

"What would I use white silk for anyway?" Mai felt distinctly disgruntled.

"Every girl needs a cream colored silk nightie!" Ty Lee's eyes grew wibbly and far away. "That way when her beloved prince comes on his –"

"Have you been reading those romance novels again?" Mai was _sure_ Azula had forbid Ty Lee from reading those and burned her substantial stash; remembering the blaze was far preferential to imagining Zuko's face if he ever caught sight of her in a white silk nightie. He'd probably die instantly of apoplexy. Her skin burned at the mere idea of ever wearing such a thing.

Ty Lee blushed and carefully replaced the silk.

"We only wear white in _mourning_, Ty Lee. I won't tell Azula about the books if we can please just go buy the coffee beans and return to the palace," Mai offered, trying to keep a begging note out of her voice.

**

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Her sense of touch: **

"I am _not_ removing my outer robe," Mai viciously informed the pleasant looking lady with the soft hands who was waiting patiently in front of her.

"You also keep your clothes on," she ordered as an afterthought, glaring at Ty Lee who was already shrugging out of one sleeve, far more excited about the prospect of a relaxing massage at a day spa.

"But Mai!" Ty Lee was giving her the pout, popping her lower lip out in a way that charmed her parents, the Fire Lady, General Iroh, their teachers at school, occasionally Azula, if she was in a good mood, and generally all men, excepting Zuko, who had looked confounded the one time Ty Lee had tried it on him, when she was attempting to goad some information on the Watertribe warrior out of him. "These earthbenders use the rocks to connect to our bodies and realign our chi! It's so exciting-"

"You are not rubbing dirt on me," Mai said flatly, then, glancing down at the masseuse's little bowl of rocks, added, "None of those are coffee beans, are they?"

Her eyebrows creased. "N-No. They're just dark colored rocks… although some of them are very small and shaped like coffee beans." There was a distinct "_if you're into that sort of thing_," tacked onto the sentence that went unsaid.

**

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**

Her sense of hearing:

"What's that noise?" Ty Lee asked, gravitating automatically towards it.

Mai sighed and continued walking, but after a moment it became clear that Ty Lee had been completely distracted once again, and Mai grudgingly backtracked to where Ty Lee was standing outside of a screened window, head cocked.

Mai concentrated a moment, and heard the plucking of a pipa and a soothing voice intoning, "Oh how summer winds-" before Mai abruptly tuned out.

"What is the big deal about people reading poetry?" Mai asked, unconsciously reaching up and rubbing her neck.

"Not just poetry Mai! Haikus! Don't you remember when we studied them at the academy?"

Her mind was blank for a moment, and then it all came rushing back to Mai. Haikus. She'd gotten more sleep that one semester than in her entire first two years of academy combined, and had still passed in the top five of the class.

It wasn't that Mai didn't have an appreciation for poetry: quite the opposite. Some poetry was beautiful and moving and wrought such emotion from her that she quite frankly felt exhausted after she closed the book.

Haikus were just… stating the obvious. It always seemed to Mai that just when she could appreciate the poem, it ended. Ty Lee, however, was sighing dreamily.

"Gracefully, we walk, seeking out our desire-"

"We need coffee beans," Mai interrupted, before she could get carried away.

Ty Lee beamed at her. "You got it!"

**

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**

**Her sense of taste:**

"Try this one Mai!" Ty Lee exclaimed, waving something in front of her face.

"But Ty Lee, this store sells chocolates, and the store that will happily sell us a pound of coffee beans for our dear friend Azula, the new queen of Ba Sing Se who refuses to sleep, is _right next door_." Is what Mai had every intention of coolly and logically informing Ty Lee; however, the moment Mai opened her mouth Ty Lee shoved the piece of chocolate in, nearly choking her.

Her eyes welled up with unshed tears as she coughed and finally swallowed. "Blech." She frowned at Ty Lee. "Did that one have _jelly_ in it?"

"Hmm," Ty Lee had a thoughtful look on her face as she carefully thrust a long fingernail into another chocolate on the silver sample plate she'd wrangled from the nervous shopkeeper at the counter.

"Don't poke the chocolates," Mai said automatically, wrinkling her nose. "Who's going to eat it if you don't want it?"

"What is that?" Ty Lee sniffed her finger, then licked it experimentally. "Coconut?"

"Who cares? This stuff is gross, Ty. Can we please go get Azula's coffee now?"

Ty Lee grimaced and replaced the chocolate. Mai looked at her pointedly, and Ty Lee sighed, picked up the chocolate, and tossed it in her mouth, chewing quickly and swallowing hard like a child trying to keep down her vegetables.

"Eugh. Definitely coconut."

"Ty Lee." This time there was a note of exasperation and Ty Lee finally put the tray back on the counter and stepped back out into the sunshine.

Mai took one step out, made sure that Ty Lee wasn't watching, then spun around and ordered the shopkeeper to wrap up a quarter pound of dark chocolate, quickly, please

**

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Her sense of decorum: **

The gardens of the palace of Ba Sing Se had never looked so beautiful; Mai wasn't one for flowers but compared to the busy, crowded marketplace on the outer edge of the inner ring, the gardens were a veritable heaven.

Ty Lee bounced happily next to her, alternating between making plans to return and buy souvenirs and wondering aloud if Azula would be angry at them for dawdling at the market. Mai sighed and decided not to point out that the reason they had taken so long was because Ty Lee had been distracted every other step along the way.

As they approached the vaulted doorway a figure strode out; though silhouetted, the stance was stiff, the steps were clipped, and the pace was angry. Mai would know Zuko anywhere.

"Zuko!" Ty Lee called, waving a hand girlishly. Zuko skidded to a stop, his face instantly transforming from the brows-drawn frown into the brows-drawn grimace that Mai had come to realize was Zuko trying his best not to do an impression of a hunted animal being cornered by its prey.

"What?" he called back cautiously. Ty Lee huffed and grabbed Mai – who, coincidentally, had also frozen like a cornered animal – by the arm and dragged her over to the fidgeting Fire Prince.

"Have you seen Azula? We have her coffee."

Zuko blinked and shook his head. "She's probably screaming at the kitchen staff again."

He made to move around the pair before stopping once again; he was dangerously close to Mai; she could feel her heart pounding furiously and wondered if he could hear it. He sniffed.

"What's that smell?"

He was looking directly at her. Mai's mouth went dry.

"It's sandalwood, and lily and jasmine," Ty Lee supplied helpfully. "Doesn't it compliment her natural aura?"

Zuko began to look vaguely panicked.

He sneezed.

Thankfully, his sneeze was timed just right to cover up Ty Lee's tiny exclamation of "He _noticed_!" under her breath. Zuko flushed red, murmured, "Excuse me," and strode away with a tense, defeated slump to his shoulders.

_Thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen._

Not that she was counting.

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**A/N:** According to my dear beta, JoJoDancer, whores in India used to wear sandalwood to cover up the smell of… various things. I chose to accept this with absolutely no research of my own. 

May Flyer originally requested Mai and Ty Lee hijinksing their way around Ba Sing Se, but it kinda got away from me and the Maiko wrote itself in. Hope you liked it!


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